This is a true story… it happened to yours truly before the breakup.
Enjoy my gyno visit.
This will haunt me all my life unless I tell my story. I’m certain there’s not many if any Butch womyn other than myself who would ever dare to tell this and if there are they would certainly never consider posting it on their blog. That’s why I’m different from every other Butch womyn.
Honestly it was the best of times, and the worst of times. There’s seriously nothing as exciting as seeing a new womyn for the first time (which constitutes the best of times) and being fingered by a stranger (obviously the worst of times). It was that time of the year again, you know the time we all shower, shave, trim and powder up for. Only this time I have to tell you I had somewhat of a minor issue and a second opinion was advised (no need to panic, I’m fine). It’s traumatizing enough for a Butch to find a gyno she’s comfortable with and then to have to go through the entire process again.
Me on the phone with the receptionist, “uuuuhhhh… yeah okay so the doctor, she’s completely female right?”
To which she replies, “why yes she’s certainly a womyn, is there a problem with that?”
“Oh, No!” I answer, perhaps a bit overzealous which makes me sound like a desperate lesbian pervert.
A pang of anguish passed through me when I saw the doctor! Immediately my pulse quickened, my heart raced and I felt a bit jumpy. My wonderful, beautiful, perfect partner forgot to ask the all important question when she scheduled my appointment, “Exactly what does the doctor look like?”
I’ve explained this to my ultra femme beautiful parnter many times, I simply can’t have a male gyno, nope not gonna happen, these lesbians biscuits are for womyn’s fingers only. No butch gyno either I would tell you all about the mammogram I suffered through at the hands of a butch (which were very cold) but that’s a blog for another day. And now the big one absolutely under no circumstances should the gyno be a hot femme, simply because I think it’s of utmost importance that one does not get turned on while they are paying for it. There’s names for situations like that and honestly quite frankly I’ve never had to pay for it. So, I’m a little confused about where our lack of communication came in but it happened and standing before me about to instruct me to disrobe was a femme Latin beauty with long flowing dark hair and eyes, a complete mirror image of my regional manager who I had such a torrid, sordid CRUSH on for the longest time.
Forever is a day longer than the time I spent with my feet in those things, whatever they are called, my legs spread exposing my cookies for… lets see let me give her a fictional name since she is innocent, (well kinda) we will call her Lady GY. So Lady GY does her thing, intent on doing a good job while my wonderful partner, knowing full well she is in deep do stands beside me clutching my sweaty butch hand and suddenly out of nowhere Lady GY pops her head up from between my legs and nonchalantly says, “so you work for CVS, is that a good job?”
What the hell, are you serious, don’t talk to me when you’re fingering me. Why are you asking, seeking a new job? Shut the hell up.
At that moment my partner squeezes my hand, her slight reminder that this womyn is in a very critical spot, able to do major damage and I should be nice.
Nice, yeah okay, that’s easier said than done but somehow I managed a smile and mumbled, “it’s a good job but I’d rather have yours.”
Forgive me but I have to ask you to completely believe what your about to read because I promise on all my butch honor it happened exactly this way.
So, there we are in the middle of my second opinion exam and I’ve officially got all Lady GY’s tools in use because believe it or not, she simply can’t find anything that’s abnormal, not that should require surgery and my favorite perfect gyno must have been mistaken. Of course that just doesn’t sit well because I do know what I’ve felt and the pain well it doesn’t just come from nowhere. Before I can say anything she says, “why don’t you touch it so I can see?” I swear I must have heard wrong, Lady GY was asking me to touch myself? I must have died and gone straight to hell or maybe some butch womyn would consider this heaven.
Anyway, to add to my humiliation my partner chimes in attempting to describe exactly where the problem is, “you know it’s kinda just inside, up a little to the left, maybe it’s a cyst, we’ve looked it up on the internet and I think that’s probably what it is.” Okay alright thanks baby I think you just answered the how sexually active are you question that was on the new patient questionnaire. So, the two of them carry on a few minutes back and forth completely forgetting my presence in the room. It gets a bit tense, Lady GY insisting there’s no lump and my partner completely disagreeing. Finally Lady GY obviously irritated grabs the tool used to allow her a birds eye view into my … Well you get the picture and stretches me beyond the butch boundaries. Before I can protest or express my discomfort she says to my partner, “wanna take a look?”
I can only hope what happens at the Gyno’s office stays at the Gyno’s office because after she asked my partner if she wanted to take a look and of course my partner wasn’t about to pass up that opportunity she continued to exam and point out parts of my most sacred area to my partner, it’s kinda like having a threesome and not getting invited to participate. Finally after I’m good and sore she tells my partner there’s nothing there, which I’m relieved to hear actually at that point I’ll agree with anything Lady GY says as long as it ends the exam.
When it’s over and I’m back safe in my butch underwear and jeans Lady GY recaps her findings which are notta and then extends her hand. I’m still in shock from the exam but not so much that I find it amazing that she wants to shake my hand, of course I gotta ask myself does she shake everyone’s hand after fingering them? There’s just something about shaking my hand afterward that just doesn’t sit well with me.
As if things couldn’t get worse on the way out Lady GY is sitting at a desktop computer updating the notes from my exam or whatever it is they do after and my partner says, “I bet she’s twittering about how she just fingered a hot sexy butch.”
That picked my ego back up somewhat until she followed it up with, “you know I bet none of your other girlfriends have ever seen as much of you as I have.”
I truly believe a visit to the gyno doesn’t have to be an unpleasant humiliating experience unless…
you are ME!
NOT Lady GY but close enough… Damn her!