Day One with BUtch Vagina Bush!

 

Day One with BUtch Vagina Bush… it’s only day one so it’s still smooth. YAY!

Oh man.

I’m seeing someone. She’s a wonderful perfect womyn.

However, she’s MIA. Vacationing, visiting, gambling, traveling, doing whatever she wants to do. It’s her time. She has a right to it. We all do. It’s tough. I haven’t seen her but once in the past twenty one days. It wasn’t the most wonderful visit that one time and I’ve only talked to her once on the phone since.

When she gets back from her sabbatical I’ll be gone doing my thang out of town so it will more than twenty one days when I finally get to see her again.

Relationships are tough. I asked myself what can I do in her honor to prove to her she’s the one? Something that would convince her of my desire to see only her and share everything I am with only her.

Several things came to mind.

I could shave my head.

I have no doubts that would totally make me invisible to the lesbian masses. However, I can’t do that. It’s taken me years to perfect this BUtch Do.

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I could swear off Sushi until I see her.

Not possible. I would die. I eat sushi so much it’s the only way I continue to exist.

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I could write her a love song.

Can’t do that either. I tried and it just turns out being a mix between and angry Miranda Lambert, I’m gonna kill you for leaving me country revenge song and a sappy raunchy Katy Perry smash up. Wait… I might have a hit here.

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There were many other options I considered also but the glaring one that stood out loud and clear in my mind was the one I kept passing up because it compromises everything I stand for. If you are a reader of my blog or if you happen to know me in person one thing I am totally against is BUSH, BEAVER, HAIRY MUFF. I detest it. I can’t stand the sight of it, or the smell of it. It makes me ill when I have those flash backs of gagging on a curly pube.

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So of course that’s the answer. She knows I am a highly hygienic BUtch and I make sure my biscuits are slick and sweet. What could I do in her honor to prove to her she’s the one? Something that would convince her of my desire to see only her and share everything I am with only her?

I think you know where I’m going with this.

I’m traumatized just thinking about it but I will do it. JUST THIS ONCE!

So here goes:

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THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE. DAMNIT!

8 thoughts on “Day One with BUtch Vagina Bush!

  1. Lmmfao! knew this where this was headed frome the get go! “You had me at hello!” Lmao Lyn you crack me up!!! Omg I love it! That surely must have done it for her right? 🙂

      • Lol so true and your welcome! I love swimming around in that mind of yours when you post! Lmao! Yeeeep yer still my HERO! BAHAHAHAHA… OH N IF THAT DON’T WORK HUN YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY A CHASITY BELT N SEND HER THE KEY! BAHAHAHAHA

  2. OMG…you wouldn’t OK, maybe you are, that’s so crazy, I can’t do it, walking around itching like a crab has came to visit…nope, write her a love song…LOL or whatever song, or grow it out and then write a song…

  3. Wow….the things we do for LOVE…..

    Congratulations on finding a perfect wonderful womyn…they are very rare in my experience, and even more rare if they love YOU like you love them.

    You are one crazy BUtch to want to unleash your pubes in the name of LOVE, but I say DO IT !!!! Set those curly little itchy mother puckers free !! We are talking about LOVE here…it doesn’t happen every day and if it has happened to YOU then you are one lucky son of a BUtch.

    I’ll bet my left nut (okay I don’t have a nut sack, but it sounds funny when my brother says it) that if this grand gesture works, your lovely womyn will be throwing your ass in the hot tub, whipping out her barber tools and shaving that little jungle down to the sweet slick. Damn, now that’s hot !!!

    Yep….kinda like that….

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