I’m Weeping.


I am here and I am a mess of tears and sadness.

I just watched a video. “It Could Happen to You”

I wept loudly as I watched.

I wept because my entire family adored my ex.

I wept at the pain of being able to relate to being threatened by my exes father and mother and being blamed for her being a lesbian.

I wept because I understand what it’s like to love someone so deeply and endlessly and to always fear physical harm from their family.

I wept because I sat at a hospital while she was in surgery totally ignored and pushed aside because I was not her family.

I am still weeping for Shane because he experienced my biggest fear. He lost the love of his life to death.

I wept because my entire involvement with my ex I knew I would go through the same thing if death ever took her from me.

Thankfully (I can say that now after time has passed and the pain has eased somewhat) my ex left me after the death of my father and step mother. She returned to her family and rejoined the straight heterosexual masses and she’s getting married in July. She will never have to worry about the hate and fear I experienced during our relationship. She has all the rights Shane, Tom and I do NOT have.

I’m happy she’s alive. I’m glad she’s getting married. I plan to consider it in my future (love you doll) but I’m terrified. I don’t want to live through it again. I don’t want to experience the ultimate pain Shane is living.

I completely expect this kind of behavior from the straight world. I’ve lived with it all my life. What stuns me is a few lesbian friends of mine on facebook post negative comments regarding legalizing same-sex marriage and I always cringe because it makes me wonder how they stand so firmly against something as important as love.

Watch this video. Comment your thoughts please and most important share this blog, share this video, stop the bullying and fight for our rights.

7 thoughts on “I’m Weeping.

  1. I saw this on some other post on my page, and cried like a baby ~ I just simply do not understand how some famile’s treat the person thier child chooses to love and no encompass what there ADULT child chooses to do, I am a big prponent of wills ~ they should superceed anything the family has to say about the matter, and the courts should uphold that document even if “gay marriage” is not legal…end of discussion! I could leave all my money to charity or my damn dog’s (dachunds BTW) if that is my choice…my money, my things, my choise…I feel the same way about my body as well, the goverment nor the church should have a say in my reproductive right’s ~ nor whom I choose to LOVE! Vey sad indeed in the 21st century!!!!!

  2. Very sad…also makes me mad!!! So many diff feelings all at once and its so over powering! My uncle started Savannah Gay Pride and even though he has passed his partner today is a big part in Georgia Equality. I followed in his foot steps the day I came out n for 5 years did my best to make our community proud. I am so sorry for your loss Lyn…no one deserves this! I haven’t had it easy in relationships but I have never had to deal with their families hating me or blaming me and I just can’t imagine how that truly feels. Its not right! Thank you for sharing this and again…your always my HERO! MY HEART GOES TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS OR SOMETHING SIMULAR!

  3. Reblogged this on From the mind of Del… and commented:
    This was a very insightful video, definitely an eye-opener. It is so very sad to see that people can be so very backwards in the way in which they think. Amazing how family can have so much faith in you until you make a decision in which they do not agree upon.
    My wife and I took the plunge last year and were civil unionized, but as we all very well know it doesn’t cover everything in the eyes of the law and therefore other precautions will have to be made such as wills and signing each other as beneficiaries. For although my family is very accepting of our lifestyle and relationship, one never knows how they will feel in the end. My wife’s family on the other hand, not all of her family members are in favor of our relationship, and there lies the problem.
    I look forward to the day in which marriages are approved for all and the path of sorrow and fear has dissipated.

  4. Thank you for sharing this video and thank you for sharing your personal story. I weep with you too my blog friend, I understand the emotional agony that you experienced. I too have had this experience.

    I had to educate myself on how to circumnavigate the lack of equal rights. Because I didn’t have equal rights with my ex life partner, I had to spend thousands of dollars in order to build a massive legal protective wall around my relationship with my her in order to prevent the exact same in-humane travesty that Shane had to experience at Tom’s death. It angers me to have had to do that. It wasn’t about the money…..it angers me to know that we still live in a society (ESPECIALLY THE GAY AND LESBIAN COMMUNITY !!) that can’t seem to comprehend that we are all equal and we all deserv equal rights.

    When my heart and soul are quiet and at peace, they remind me that some people fear the things that they do not understand. This fear manifests itself it hurtful, narrow-minded, idiotic and sometimes violent ways. It’s hard enough to feel esteemed as a Lesbian in todays world, but to be considered underserving of the same legal rights that the heterosexul community enjoys continues to perpetuate ignorance and intolerance.

    Thanks again for your insight, thoughts and especially you courage to to speak your mind…..you are an inspiration !! Thanks for opening the eyes of those who may have never experienced this hell…and it is hell.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your kind words.
      It’s comforting to know someone else has experienced this and found a way to deal with it just in case the horrible inevitable happened.
      I hope if people read this they read your comment and know that there are things that can be done.
      I’m very pleased and happy to have you as an active reader who actually comments.
      Your thoughts are very refreshing and appreciated.
      Thank you.

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