Don’t call me STR8 or Gay! I’m a Lesbian!

Do you remember when Str8 people used to say, “I don’t mind if you’re gay as long as you act straight in public?”

That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. How do I act Straight in public?  I’ve got this huge neon sign that follows me around flashing Lesbian, BUtch, NAughty, watch out ladies. Other than that I guess I could hug all over some unlucky man but that would still just look like two gay guys lovin’ it up.

Maybe it’s easier for FEmme LEsbians to act str8 in public. What am I saying I know it is. There seems to be many that still do for whatever reason and I do respect those reasons as long as I’m not dating the FEmme acting Str8 in public lesbian.


What are you thoughts? Ever date someone in the closet while you were not (sidenote: I’ve had sex with a womyn in a closet but that’s another note)? Would you ever act Str8 in public? Would you ever want anyone to act a certain way in public to appease your morals? Have you ever had sex in a closet? Just comment your thoughts anything you wanna say works.



Anyway, so this is on my mind what if we, the we being Gays said something like this:


3 thoughts on “Don’t call me STR8 or Gay! I’m a Lesbian!

  1. I don’t act any different out in public then I do at my house or around my family and friends. People assume I am straight when I am out in public, unless they know me. If asked by a stranger or in general conversation with someone about a husband or boyfriend I simply say ‘No I have a wife though” but don’t go out of my way to publicly notify others around me I am gay. I would never act straight on purpose in public, I am not ashamed in any way.

  2. I have an interesting perspective for you.

    I don’t look like what society has deemed a lesbian to look like – I’m a woman and I look and dress and act like – a woman. It’s not limited to dresses, make-up, heels, long hair – but those are things I enjoy wearing/having, so the fact that I do shouldn’t diminish the fact that I’m a lesbian. If someone asks me, I gladly tell them that I’m a lesbian.

    I also don’t typically act like what society has helped establish as ‘acting black’. For some reasons, people get confused. I’ve been asked so many times: what are you? what’s your ethnic background? I’m multi-racial. Egyptian, Irish (my father), Choctaw, Cherokee, African (my mother). I don’t really look like any one nationality, because I’m not.

    On the flip side, I’ve only been asked a handful of times what my sexual orientation is and I have no problem telling anyone. In fact, I’ve been asked that most often when I was a stripper, oddly enough. I guess I carried myself so much differently than the other girls and I didn’t splay myself in some idiotic gesture for attention. And I was always honest about it, even if it cost me financially.

    But I do get frustrated because even in gay bars, I don’t get approached very often because I don’t look gay. In fact, I’m ignored. I see looks, even stares, but no approach. It’s quite frustrating. Is there a reverse discrimination thing going on that I’m unaware of? Am I not lesbian-looking enough by some unknown standard?

    I find that sometimes gay people can be even more judgmental and discriminating against their own for ridiculous reasons. And it hurts more.

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